The Adequate Blog

True to my prediction, I woke up at 4:00 am Sunday Morning. It helped that I went to bed at nine.

Up, shower, groom, dress, check out - and I’m there in front of the event center at 4;30, the THIRD person in line.

Fastwind through THREE hours or so of hanging out, talking, schmoozing. And we’re inside.
The first thing that happens is that we wind up in a ‘holding room’. This is not too bad - I can sit down, inside, and I chat with a couple of production assistants. The fez, it seems, has a visual appeal. More on this in a moment.

After a bit, a director - actually TWO directors with megaphones come out and take turns setting up shots. The first set uses everyone and a big honking camera on a 360 degree boom… that big ‘millions of people screaming and cheering’ shot. I hang out in the back for a bit, and then the director calls for

“Man in a green fez!”

That’d be me. ‘Scuse me pardon me pardon me ’scuse me pardon me hello!

“Can you say ‘Welcome to Seattle’ all bit and theatrically?”

(ehem)

(booming voice) WELCOME! TO! SEATTLE!!!!

Director jumps a little, big eyes. “Yes that will do nicely.” Very British, this director. Soo… surrounded by people, With the camera about THIS CLOSE to me… I do my thing and make with the big booming laugh while everyone around me cheers and screams - the camera boom pivots through three full circles. Cool.

Now I have another line…

WELCOME BACK! TO! SEATTLE! AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

more cheering, screaming, etc. There’s a lot of this. I would not be *too* suprised if this shows up on TV regardless. The directors, they feel I is photogenic.

More screaming, waving, cheering shots. People around me are beginning to grouse, although we’ve really only been doing it for an hour or so. This is what TV is like, people - lots and lots of shots for a very little amount of actual airtime. Relax.

Eventually, I go to audition. My audition came in two phases.

Phase One: British Assistant Director. I do my speil, he’s amused, he asks me about mentioning “Tommy Cooper” and “Ali Bongo” in my “influences” list (ah hah!), asks me what other tricks I do. I give them some “Art” to go with the “Pain” of the chain trick. I mention the card mallet and, with the assitance of yet another PA do the World’s Most Difficult Card trick. Amusement. I go back out, vibrating.,

They send me up to the executive director to try out.

Now I am vibrating quite a bit.

Upstairs, I am the first person they see. Hooboy.

I start my spiel, giving them the Art or Pain bit. I narrowly sidestep their request for “Art” because, as I mention, the live audience I work rarely if EVER do art. The spiel runs it course 1… 2… 3…

… the chain seizes. No I still don’t know why it didn’t go smoothly,

BUT. I am a professional.

“Now this is what we magicians call an error. But don’t worry. We can fix that in post-production.”

THIS gets laughter from the people behind the table. I redo - it works. yay!

I then show them some Art to go with the pain.

So, what did I learn?

• Bring a folding chair if you’re going to be out there at 4:30
• Also: a blanket or heavy coat
• The Fez, it has power
• Plan for 90 seconds but bring enough for 5 minutes (modular plotting helps here)
• Don’t Panic If Something Goes Sideways ™
• And… this show happens seasonally. So I’ll prep for the next season regardless.

I feel good. It was a worthwhile exercise andI I’m going to keep an eye on the show to see if I show up on screen regardless. Becos then I can legitimately put ‘AS SEEN ON AMERICA’S GOT TALENT!!!’ in my resume.
I’m already planning

• Bring a folding chair if you’re going to be out there at 4:30
• Also: a blanket or heavy coat
• The Fez, it has power
• Plan for 90 seconds but bring enough for 5 minutes (modular plotting helps here)
• Don’t Panic If Something Goes Sideways ™
• And… this show happens seasonally. So I’ll prep for the next season regardless.

I feel good. It was a worthwhile exercise andI I’m going to keep an eye on the show to see if I show up on screen regardless. Becos then I can legitimately put ‘AS SEEN ON AMERICA’S GOT TALENT!!!’ in my resume.

I’m already planning for next season!

Coming up: Evolution of a new bit: The CARD MALLET!